show friday at the MIddle East DOWNSTAIRS

Tomorrow (Friday) night, ARmy of BRoken TOys is playing our first ever show at the Middle East DOWNSTAIRS. This is a huge show for us. In theory, if we do well (read as: if you and all of your friends come out to support us), this will be the first of many shows at the downstairs.

WHEN: Tomorrow, Friday, December 18. Doors are at 8. We are the FIRST BAND so we'll go on as close to 9 as possible.

WHERE: The Middle East Downstairs, 472 - 480 Massachusetts Ave, Cambridge, MA 02139

HOW MUCH: $12, I know, it's a little pricy. But for the bands that are playing and given the venue, it's totally worth it!

WHO'S IN THE BAND TONIGHT: Walter Sickert (guitar, vocal, piano), Edrie Broken Toy (assorted magical toy instruments), Me (viola), TJ the Bear (Drums), Jojo the Burlesque Poetess (ukulele, comedy, poetry on demand), Mike from What Time is it, Mr. Fox (upright bass), possible Kevin Corzett (or Corset..on the Clarinet), possibly a few of the Grindhouse Marionettes, plus all of the Bunnies we can round up.

WHO ELSE IS PLAYING: Count Zero, The Bon Savants, and The Elevator Drops (this is their one time reunion show. It's your last chance to see them!)

WHY SHOULD I COME TO THIS ONE: The ARmy will be full force! As many bunnies as possible. You can expect a maximum dose of  your favorite carnie doom-folk steamcrunk band! The BRoken TOys dont have many shows in town over the next couple months, so come out to support us!


Check out Walter's poster!

measa: piece of sheet music

yesterday i knew my outfit looked familiar but i couldn't figure out what it was.

Then i realized...yes, i have spent A LOT of time looking at this particular inanimate object...

Behold! it's me as a Peters edition!

measa: french cigarette ad

This is poster for Job Cigarettes drawn by Jane Atche in 1896. The original print lives at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.

I think is one of the most extraordinary uses of the color green that exist, especially when paired with the vermilion/rust color of the word "JOB"

So i thought i'd try it

day job/night job

i was tired.
when i got home last night, i was tired.
more tired than i thought i should be, despite the fact that i got home a quarter to one in the morning.

i worked at the shoe store yesterday. this means my day didn't actually start until 11am. it was a nice day filled with nice customers who bought nice shoes. i like my coworkers. i left early to drive all the way out to the high school where i teach. it took more than twice as long to get there as it usually does.
i was still early.
last night was my first orchestra concert. my students. my piece. it's kind of surreal. i did it. i became a music teacher. and here i am. teaching music. i think maybe i'll email the video to my high school music director, let him know that my plan worked out.

after the concert, i had a rehearsal for the Broken Toys. We got permission to have a private practice at the Lilypad. I like that place a lot. It's also hard to fit the whole band in the space where we usually practice, though i like that place a lot, too.

Still, when i got home i was exhausted. I think maybe it takes more energy to switch gears than i originally assumed. Something tells me that if my day had been the same length but only doing one or two related things, i wouldn't have felt so spent.


day job

here i am conducting the orchestra.


night job

here i am bouncing around in a skirt i made out of wrapping paper.



here i am in 6" heels* rocking out to a song about anorexia.

*funny story: actually, the last time jaggery was all together in NYC, i put a hole in the stage with those shoes. i was pretty hyped about something and was stomping hard enough that all of the sudden half of the heel was in the stage. i pulled it out, managed to sneak a picture with my phone inbetween songs, then kicked some cables over it. i dont think anyone noticed.

~~~

in two hours i'm driving to new york to play a show with the Broken Toys and Jaggery at Tommy's Tavern in Brooklyn. I'm particularly excited because this is only the second time that all five members  of Jaggery (piano/drums/bass/harp/viola) will be playing all together. We've performed in just about every combination...it's just hard to get all of us in the same place.

We'll drive back to boston after the show. I'll probably be home by 6am.
At 8:30am i'll be starting the first of four, hour-long, back to back, piano lessons
At 12:30 i'll go straight to the shoe store to work
At 6pm i'll leave work early and head to cloud club for another show
and by 1am sunday, i'll be able to go to sleep.
what a life!

measa: wallet

i know what you're thinking...

what kind of asshole starts a blog, then doesn't post in it for over a week, then posts twice in one day?
answer: this guy.
such is life...


anyways, sometimes i dress as inanimate objects.
i'm often told that i look like things
i think this is probably not a common compliment
it's cool, though. i've got nothing against things.
i like things. i dont mind looking like them.

so i think, maybe i'll take some pictures of it...

here i am as my wallet

relax

i never thought i'd have to work so hard to not do anything.
but it doesn't come easy to me, so i guess i do.

last weekend, on tour, i "relaxed" for the longest single period of time in as long as i can remember, about 2.5 hours.
don't get me wrong, my life is in no way without pleasure
i do lots of things "for fun"
they just all happen to be productive. all of them. at all times.
if i'm watching tv, i'm checking my e-mail
if i'm crafting something, it's because i need it
if i'm listening to music, i'm probably going from one place to another (driving, biking)

but relaxing, true relaxing (to me, anyways), is the art of sitting still.

usually, the way i know i'm relaxing is that i'm reading a book. Reading is my one true leisure activity. I say this becuase i can't do it while doing anything else. I have to sit still. I have to pay atention. I dont read with music on. I dont read on commutes. unfortunately, this means i dont read often. But when I do, i fucking love it.

still, reading is productive...
~~~

tony (the bass player for jaggery) lives in a small house on a lake near Jamestown, NY. it's where we slept while touring. After getting in from a show around 5:30am, everyone else slept till 12:30. i woke up at 9.
I tried to go back to sleep.
failed.
Listened to an unheard album through my bitchin' new headphones.
finished it.
and by 10am had nothing to do but sit.
so i decided to try and relax.
i put my ipod on shuffle and went downstairs. the only source of heat at tony's is a small gas/electric fireplace against the wall. though i spent a lot of time being pretty cold over the last few days, there is a distinct and great pleasure that comes from fire heat.

real heat
heat from something on fire
not that canned shit that comes out of central air vents
i sat in front of it and stared at the flames
nothing is natural in the fire except the flame
i sat so close i thought my eyelashes might burn
the wood and the embers are some sort of futuristic inflammable plastic
i sat with my hands pressed against the iron sides until i cant stand it
then i press harder
it's both plugged in and hooked up to something that resembles a propane tank
then i press my scalding hands against other, less fortunate, parts of me
it's funny to call this thing real when i cant even figure out what is producing the fire
still, it's the most real thing i've done all morning.

then i stare out the window.
then i stare at the wall
then i stare at the fire again.

just me and some songs and some thoughts
alone in jamestown
and it was good

...but it was also really fucking hard


~~~

as a side note: when i finished "relaxing" i had several frantic/angry/concerned voicemails from a slew of people in boston. Apparently one of my piano students had forgotten that i was going to be out of town this week and had driven all the way into the city for a lesson which was not happening. This makes me sad and stressed and angry, and ruins my relaxing.

stray events

CURRENTLY: I can't feel half of my face. Dental work is awkward like that. The local anesthesia has given me a sort of sad unavoidable pout.
I also can't really speak.
Good thing i have the internet.

RECENTLY: I took a 6 hour vacation to the Cape with a friend. I'd like to think that i could go to less of an extreme to relax (about 4 hours travel time to spend 2 hours there) but maybe i can't. Great company makes even the longest drives for the shortest destinations worth it. In addition to spending some time standing on a very tiny beach (about 20yrds of sand surrounded by rocks), i also wandered around an old graveyard. Quality.

If you didn't catch it, that gravestone says "our loss, their gain".
I think it's spectacular.
I really liked that yellow color growing on the bench.
It looked especially great on that especially gray day.

OCCASIONALLY: I dress like a muppet.

AT SOME POINT: I figured out that i could mold my hair into a TORNADO!

 I'm in the process of looking for a tiny cow or pickup truck that i can tie in to complete the illusion...

VERY SOON: I'll be going on tour with Jaggery and Army of Broken Toys. I'll write more about that later.

there is a difference

i'm not mad, i'm just upset
i'm not mad, i'm just upset

And part of being an adult is being able to tell the difference between the two.
But no one ever explains what to do once you can tell them apart.
I know what to do if i'm mad.
I can kick, scream, cry, yell.

But upset is more complex.
Upset is quiet
It's processed
Filtered
partially homogonized.
and squeezed out
neatly packaged
as mature communication.

But i'm not that evolved
So i'm grown enough to tell the difference
I still don't know what to do with the rest.

and i know i'll love you just the same in the morning
or maybe in an hour
and i know this too will pass
but right now
all i can say to you is
i'm not mad, i'm just upset.

things fall apart

i'm clumsy.
sometimes i break shit
this time, i broke my nice violin bow.
how nice?
real nice.
(ask me in person and maybe i'll tell you)

It happened a few minutes before What Time is it, Mr. Fox was supposed to start playing at Squawk last week. We had stored our belongings in the sanctuary adjacent to the back hall where the open mic took place. All of the lights were off.  I set my case on a pew and started to get my instrument out. As i was tightening my bow, it slipped out of my hands and hit the hard wood floor. Since it was dark, for a spit second, i was foolish enough to believe that that cracking sound i heard was not my bow shattering.

it was.

 I didn't mention it to anyone because i was positive that explaining it out loud would make me burst into tears. But then i had to tell someone, so i called brendan. He didn't pick up.

Prediction: confirmed
Voicemail left for brendan: teary

So i played the set on my shitty back up bow. Afterward, Brian (the singer) asked me if everything was okay. He had sensed that i was distracted and figured that i just really, really didn't like the venue. I explained what happened. Then we went and got a drink.

As it turns out, most things in life can be fixed with Knob Creek on the rocks.
Unfortunately, my bow couldn't.

Actually, after taking it to the bow doctor, i found out my bow could be fixed__for $250 and no guarantee that the fix would hold. Also, it now has absolutly $0 resale value.  Apparently, the break happened at a previously knicked part of my bow. It just as easily could have happened while i was playing (maximum badassery) or while it was sitting, untouched in the case (maximum lame-assery).
I just sped up the inevitable.

Long story short...
I bought a new bow.
Ken at Carriage House Violins was awesome and helped me find a
space age,
brand new,
sexy and black,
faster and stronger,
nearly indestructible,
carbon fiber (like fancy bike and space ships!) bow.

It makes it's premier tonight in about an hour at the lilypad.

See you there.

show tonight at the Lilypad

I'm playing tonight with Box Five at The Lilypad in Inman Square. I'll also probably do a song or two with Singer Mali from Jaggery.

WHEN: Tonight, Friday, November 20. show starts at 10:15pm sharp.

WHERE: The Lilypad, 1353 Cambridge St Cambridge 02239

HOW MUCH: $10, it'll be worth it (includes wine and cake, yo!)

WHO'S IN THE BAND TONIGHT: Mary Bichner (vocals, guitar, piano), Valerie Thompson of Goli (cello), Nate Greenslit of HUMANWINE (drums), me on violin, and maybe a few others.

WHO ELSE IS PLAYING: Molly Zenobia And the Machine are headlining the evening.

WHY SHOULD I COME TO THIS ONE: It's #5 in Molly's themed interactive show series. This one is called "Reflection" They usually involve some sort of art component, and it's a great opportunity to see these bands in an intimate space. Plus....there will be cake. and wine.

Flyer time!

a strange experience

On Monday night, i was at Great Scott in Allston.
Were you?

It was the third and final installment of HUMANWINE's residency.

On Sunday night, i was at one of my favorite bars in Cambridge where i ran in to several of my favorite people, including Nate, the drummer for HUMANWINE*. He asked me if i wanted to come to the show, offered to put me on the list, invited me to sit in on a couple of songs.

So Monday evening, after a quick video chat lesson with one of my autistic piano students (i promise, that will be relevant later on), i headed to the bar. When i got there, Holly (the singer) jotted down a tentative set list and between her and Paul (the bass player) came up with a few chords.

After 4 opening acts, we were on. I wasn't nervous like i usually am. It was a fucking awesome set. HUMANWINE kicks so much ass, and were a ton fun to play with. Somewhere in the middle of the set, Holly needed to re-tune, and we fell into doing "Doh! a Beer" (this is ironic because not even three hours earlier, i was trying to coach an autistic 14 year old playing the same song, well..."Do, a dear") At one point, i looked back and Nate was giving me some sort of a nod of approval. That meant a lot. 

 here's the strange part...
At the end of the show, Holly sort of introduced the band. She thanked me for playing, though i'm not sure she knew my name, having only met me in passing once or twice.
...but the people in the crowd did know my name.
and they kind of cheered for me.
and i know that some of the people were friends
but many of them weren't.
they knew my name.


After the show, a lot of people said a lot of really nice, thoughtful, things to me. Many of them had seen me play with Army of Broken Toys or Jaggery, sit in on some Balkan jams with Goli, or perform at other random events at Cloud Club. A couple of them had even been at that first Garden party where i did a 1/2 hour of solo viola music during an approaching thunder storm.
Still...i didn't know them
and they knew my name.

*if you're not familiar, that's how the name of the band looks. always all caps. though i'm genuinely excited for having played with them, i'd hate for you to think of me screaming the band name at you every time it comes up.

at the moment...

...i'm in love with Shara Worden. Well, at least her voice.

As much as i would like to believe that i've grown and changed and diversified my tastes, i find that–more often than not–i'm doing the same thing that i always have. I'm this way with men, and women, violas, and apparently female vocalists.

I always think that i've become attracted to something novel and exotic, only to realize that it's just a combination of things i've previously loved. If you ask me if i have a type, i'd probably tell you i didn't. I'd say i like a pretty varied selection, that i don't have specific things i look for, that i'm open to anything. But at the end of the day...the albums i buy, the people i sleep with, the instruments i play, they're all the same.

Sometimes i wonder if i'm destined to fall in love with the same things forever.

Let's talk about Shara.
She is My Brightest Diamond.
If' you've been in a room with me and a set of speakers in the past week, i probably forced you to listen to her.
Her album, "Bring Me the Workhorse, totally stopped me in my tracks.

I'm usually not an obsessive person when it comes to music. I get a new thing, i listen to it a few times, it joins the rest of my collection. But this album...it's different.

Shara has a dark, thick Fiona-Apple-ish voice. She's a trained opera singer and arranger; both qualities are apparent. The band is her plus or minus a few string players, an electric bass player, and a percussionist. The album is quiet and intense. The instrumentation is very sparse which allows for almost whispered, yet still completely audible vocals. I would put it somewhere between Bjork and Portishead, with slightly more of a melodic focus.

This is the last track on the album, it's got some Portishead to it. The song itself has a strange form. The line "bring me the workhorse, bring me the no good workhorse" only happens once (1:58), but it's so effective, i thought it happened several times. I guess that could be considered the bridge. I like the way space, and interlused are used. the song doesn't have many words, but remains interesting the whole time.



If you're a Decemberists fan, you'll recognize her as The Queen from their latest album, "The Hazards of Love." The first time i heard the track "The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid"  i knew it was only a matter of time before i tracked down everything she had ever done.

This is the first track on the album, it's got a little Bjork to it. The second verse/second chorus (2:24) have great uses of slightly non traditional songwriting to create a mood (non-words, rolled r's). I think it's much more effective on the album, where she doesn't have to sing louder than a guitar, instead that verse is almost sung too quiet...still you'll get the point.



I'm excited about this band
And would like to share them with you
I know its not for everyone
But at least for now
It's definitely for me.

show tonight at Squawk

I'm playing tonight with What Time is it, Mr. Fox? at the Squawk coffeehouse in Harvard Square

WHEN: Today, Thursday November 12. show starts at 9pm, we're on around 10pm

WHERE: Harvard Epworth Methodist Church-1555 Mass Ave

HOW MUCH: suggested $3 donation, but complimentary coffee and tea

WHO'S IN THE BAND TONIGHT: Brian King- guitar & vocals, Lori Perkins- piano, Mike Leggio- upright bass, and i'm playing violin.

WHO ELSE IS PLAYING: Tonight is Squawk's eclectic open mic, so in theory...you could be playing! Mr. Fox is the featured band and will be doing a full set. Rumor has it that Walter Sickert will be in attendance, so i might do a song or two with him.

WHY SHOULD I COME TO THIS ONE: It's cheap and T accessable. The Squawk is in a beautiful space and has a an actual piano. It is one of the most eclectic open-mics in Boston.

Plus...check out this adorable flyer (yeah, i know...it looks cooler with the "y")!

a bad idea

i have a problem leaving things.
if i'm going from one place to another, i am invariably late to the "another".
i am the last one to leave the party...or maybe i'm still on your couch.

Tonight i had the overwhelming desire to be in two places at once. As i have not yet invented a way of successfully cloning myself or forcing more hours into the day, i was forced to make a choice. i don't like choosing. i like doing both. This is problematic when i'm choosing between two unrepeatable (really, spellcheck...i can't write unduplicatable, but unrepeatable is a word? wack.) scenarios with two groups of people who's company i really enjoy.

Tonight i managed to do both. I started with group A, i went to group B for a little while, and somehow was able to pull myself away from them to return to group A. I fucking love both sets of friends. I wanted to be in both places. So i was. Sometimes things work out.

Still though, the real trouble comes when i am chosing between following my routine and exploring some new exciting thing. Invariably, i chose the new exciting thing. Over and over again, i chose the new exciting thing. The problem is, you can only do this so many times before your routine is not a routine anymore. I know that somewhere there is a balance between routine and spontaneity, but i'm not graceful enough to walk the line without fucking up my shit. So at the end of the night i had two choices: go back to group B or go to home.

I know what happens if i go home.
I don't know what happens if i go back to group B.

I think i'd like to..............
...But i know i should......
...... And i say to myself...

This is a bad idea
A wonderful bad idea
I want to but i'm not going to
I'd love to but i shouldn't


And so i don't.
at least for tonight.

Who am i

i'm not sure yet.
i'm busy, i guess.
i used to keep everything in my life separate, like a tv dinner tray or a craft box filled with sorted buttons. My friends never met, my jobs never crossed, and i spent most of my time driving from one thing to the next–and arriving there ten minutes after i should have.

Lately things have been...messy. Boston is too small to segregate your life. So now i lead several lives, all one on top of the other. Sometimes i wonder what people think i do when i'm not doing whatever it is i'm doing with them. Mostly they dont ask; probably they dont care.

~~
Sometimes, i'm a teacher. They call me Mr. Jayson. It's weird–that's my mother's name, i'm just not that fancy. I teach highschool orchestra. I work with 80-something kids at once. They're great. i conduct, i use my college degrees, i live out the second phase of my life plan (step 1: go to college, step 2:teach music), and almost always, when i walk in to teach on tuesday morning, i laugh to myself and say "if only they knew what i was doing 12 hours ago."

I also teach private piano lessons one morning a week to children who have Autism. Four lessons in a row. Each an hour long. It's hard. It's really hard. I shouldn't have taken this job, but the kids are incredible, so i suck it up.

~~
Often, i work at a shoe store on Newbury street. I'm lucky. I work with some of the best people in Boston. If you don't believe me, stop by sometime. It's nice to be surrounded by people (and a company) that value art and creativity so highly. Still, as i'm lacing someone into a boot, sometimes i'll think about all of my student loans, and wonder if this is why i have a masters degree...

~~
Mostly, i play viola in a couple of rock bands. That's a funny sentence. There will be many band posts in the future. Again, i'm lucky, i'm surrounded by a phenominal amount of originality and talent. Sometimes i think about how i've managed to squeeze myself into the Boston artrock scene, and i wonder how long it will take them to catch on and kick me out.

~~
I run into people i've sold shoes to a lot. I run into people who know me from my bands. Sometimes my students know about shows i've played. Life's just not as separated as it used to be. Boston's too small, and i'm too tired. In the words of Kurt Vonnegut, so it goes.

i'm probably an asshole
i'm often late
i don't capitolize the word "i"

i'm bad at relaxing
i'm afraid of being alone
but i'm good at getting dressed in the morning.

What is this?

This is not a diary.
This is not a calendar.
It's not what i had for breakfast or what i'm wearing today.
This is not a place to vent.
Not pictures that i've taken or places that i've been.
Not for promoting.
Not for pretending.
Not for passing the time.
This is not a place to put things to remember.
This is not art.
This is not a blog.