if i'm going from one place to another, i am invariably late to the "another".
i am the last one to leave the party...or maybe i'm still on your couch.
Tonight i had the overwhelming desire to be in two places at once. As i have not yet invented a way of successfully cloning myself or forcing more hours into the day, i was forced to make a choice. i don't like choosing. i like doing both. This is problematic when i'm choosing between two unrepeatable (really, spellcheck...i can't write unduplicatable, but unrepeatable is a word? wack.) scenarios with two groups of people who's company i really enjoy.
Tonight i managed to do both. I started with group A, i went to group B for a little while, and somehow was able to pull myself away from them to return to group A. I fucking love both sets of friends. I wanted to be in both places. So i was. Sometimes things work out.
Still though, the real trouble comes when i am chosing between following my routine and exploring some new exciting thing. Invariably, i chose the new exciting thing. Over and over again, i chose the new exciting thing. The problem is, you can only do this so many times before your routine is not a routine anymore. I know that somewhere there is a balance between routine and spontaneity, but i'm not graceful enough to walk the line without fucking up my shit. So at the end of the night i had two choices: go back to group B or go to home.
I know what happens if i go home.
I don't know what happens if i go back to group B.
I think i'd like to..............
...But i know i should......
...... And i say to myself...
This is a bad idea
A wonderful bad idea
I want to but i'm not going to
I'd love to but i shouldn't
And so i don't.
at least for tonight.
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