CURRENTLY: I can't feel half of my face. Dental work is awkward like that. The local anesthesia has given me a sort of sad unavoidable pout.
I also can't really speak.
Good thing i have the internet.
RECENTLY: I took a 6 hour vacation to the Cape with a friend. I'd like to think that i could go to less of an extreme to relax (about 4 hours travel time to spend 2 hours there) but maybe i can't. Great company makes even the longest drives for the shortest destinations worth it. In addition to spending some time standing on a very tiny beach (about 20yrds of sand surrounded by rocks), i also wandered around an old graveyard. Quality.
If you didn't catch it, that gravestone says "our loss, their gain".
I think it's spectacular.
I really liked that yellow color growing on the bench.
It looked especially great on that especially gray day.
OCCASIONALLY: I dress like a muppet.
AT SOME POINT: I figured out that i could mold my hair into a TORNADO!
I'm in the process of looking for a tiny cow or pickup truck that i can tie in to complete the illusion...
VERY SOON: I'll be going on tour with Jaggery and Army of Broken Toys. I'll write more about that later.
i'm not mad, i'm just upset
i'm not mad, i'm just upset
And part of being an adult is being able to tell the difference between the two.
But no one ever explains what to do once you can tell them apart.
I know what to do if i'm mad.
I can kick, scream, cry, yell.
But upset is more complex.
Upset is quiet
It's processed
Filtered
partially homogonized.
and squeezed out
neatly packaged
as mature communication.
But i'm not that evolved
So i'm grown enough to tell the difference
I still don't know what to do with the rest.
and i know i'll love you just the same in the morning
or maybe in an hour
and i know this too will pass
but right now
all i can say to you is
i'm not mad, i'm just upset.
i'm clumsy.
sometimes i break shit
this time, i broke my nice violin bow.
how nice?
real nice.
(ask me in person and maybe i'll tell you)
It happened a few minutes before What Time is it, Mr. Fox was supposed to start playing at Squawk last week. We had stored our belongings in the sanctuary adjacent to the back hall where the open mic took place. All of the lights were off. I set my case on a pew and started to get my instrument out. As i was tightening my bow, it slipped out of my hands and hit the hard wood floor. Since it was dark, for a spit second, i was foolish enough to believe that that cracking sound i heard was not my bow shattering.
it was.
I didn't mention it to anyone because i was positive that explaining it out loud would make me burst into tears. But then i had to tell someone, so i called brendan. He didn't pick up.
Prediction: confirmed
Voicemail left for brendan: teary
So i played the set on my shitty back up bow. Afterward, Brian (the singer) asked me if everything was okay. He had sensed that i was distracted and figured that i just really, really didn't like the venue. I explained what happened. Then we went and got a drink.
As it turns out, most things in life can be fixed with Knob Creek on the rocks.
Unfortunately, my bow couldn't.
Actually, after taking it to the bow doctor, i found out my bow could be fixed__for $250 and no guarantee that the fix would hold. Also, it now has absolutly $0 resale value. Apparently, the break happened at a previously knicked part of my bow. It just as easily could have happened while i was playing (maximum badassery) or while it was sitting, untouched in the case (maximum lame-assery).
I just sped up the inevitable.
Long story short...
I bought a new bow.
Ken at Carriage House Violins was awesome and helped me find a
space age,
brand new,
sexy and black,
faster and stronger,
nearly indestructible,
carbon fiber (like fancy bike and space ships!) bow.
It makes it's premier tonight in about an hour at the lilypad.
I'm playing tonight with Box Five at The Lilypad in Inman Square. I'll also probably do a song or two with Singer Mali from Jaggery.
WHEN: Tonight, Friday, November 20. show starts at 10:15pm sharp.
WHERE: The Lilypad, 1353 Cambridge St Cambridge 02239
HOW MUCH: $10, it'll be worth it (includes wine and cake, yo!)
WHO'S IN THE BAND TONIGHT: Mary Bichner (vocals, guitar, piano), Valerie Thompson of Goli (cello), Nate Greenslit of HUMANWINE (drums), me on violin, and maybe a few others.
WHY SHOULD I COME TO THIS ONE: It's #5 in Molly's themed interactive show series. This one is called "Reflection" They usually involve some sort of art component, and it's a great opportunity to see these bands in an intimate space. Plus....there will be cake. and wine.
On Monday night, i was at Great Scott in Allston.
Were you?
It was the third and final installment of HUMANWINE's residency.
On Sunday night, i was at one of my favorite bars in Cambridge where i ran in to several of my favorite people, including Nate, the drummer for HUMANWINE*. He asked me if i wanted to come to the show, offered to put me on the list, invited me to sit in on a couple of songs.
So Monday evening, after a quick video chat lesson with one of my autistic piano students (i promise, that will be relevant later on), i headed to the bar. When i got there, Holly (the singer) jotted down a tentative set list and between her and Paul (the bass player) came up with a few chords.
After 4 opening acts, we were on. I wasn't nervous like i usually am. It was a fucking awesome set. HUMANWINE kicks so much ass, and were a ton fun to play with. Somewhere in the middle of the set, Holly needed to re-tune, and we fell into doing "Doh! a Beer" (this is ironic because not even three hours earlier, i was trying to coach an autistic 14 year old playing the same song, well..."Do, a dear") At one point, i looked back and Nate was giving me some sort of a nod of approval. That meant a lot.
here's the strange part...
At the end of the show, Holly sort of introduced the band. She thanked me for playing, though i'm not sure she knew my name, having only met me in passing once or twice.
...but the people in the crowd did know my name.
and they kind of cheered for me.
and i know that some of the people were friends
but many of them weren't.
they knew my name.
After the show, a lot of people said a lot of really nice, thoughtful, things to me. Many of them had seen me play with Army of Broken Toys or Jaggery, sit in on some Balkan jams with Goli, or perform at other random events at Cloud Club. A couple of them had even been at that first Garden party where i did a 1/2 hour of solo viola music during an approaching thunder storm.
Still...i didn't know them
and they knew my name.
*if you're not familiar, that's how the name of the band looks. always all caps. though i'm genuinely excited for having played with them, i'd hate for you to think of me screaming the band name at you every time it comes up.
...i'm in love with Shara Worden. Well, at least her voice.
As much as i would like to believe that i've grown and changed and diversified my tastes, i find that–more often than not–i'm doing the same thing that i always have. I'm this way with men, and women, violas, and apparently female vocalists.
I always think that i've become attracted to something novel and exotic, only to realize that it's just a combination of things i've previously loved. If you ask me if i have a type, i'd probably tell you i didn't. I'd say i like a pretty varied selection, that i don't have specific things i look for, that i'm open to anything. But at the end of the day...the albums i buy, the people i sleep with, the instruments i play, they're all the same.
Sometimes i wonder if i'm destined to fall in love with the same things forever.
Let's talk about Shara.
She is My Brightest Diamond.
If' you've been in a room with me and a set of speakers in the past week, i probably forced you to listen to her.
Her album, "Bring Me the Workhorse, totally stopped me in my tracks.
I'm usually not an obsessive person when it comes to music. I get a new thing, i listen to it a few times, it joins the rest of my collection. But this album...it's different.
Shara has a dark, thick Fiona-Apple-ish voice. She's a trained opera singer and arranger; both qualities are apparent. The band is her plus or minus a few string players, an electric bass player, and a percussionist. The album is quiet and intense. The instrumentation is very sparse which allows for almost whispered, yet still completely audible vocals. I would put it somewhere between Bjork and Portishead, with slightly more of a melodic focus.
This is the last track on the album, it's got some Portishead to it. The song itself has a strange form. The line "bring me the workhorse, bring me the no good workhorse" only happens once (1:58), but it's so effective, i thought it happened several times. I guess that could be considered the bridge. I like the way space, and interlused are used. the song doesn't have many words, but remains interesting the whole time.
If you're a Decemberists fan, you'll recognize her as The Queen from their latest album, "The Hazards of Love." The first time i heard the track "The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid" i knew it was only a matter of time before i tracked down everything she had ever done.
This is the first track on the album, it's got a little Bjork to it. The second verse/second chorus (2:24) have great uses of slightly non traditional songwriting to create a mood (non-words, rolled r's). I think it's much more effective on the album, where she doesn't have to sing louder than a guitar, instead that verse is almost sung too quiet...still you'll get the point.
I'm excited about this band
And would like to share them with you
I know its not for everyone
But at least for now
It's definitely for me.
WHEN: Today, Thursday November 12. show starts at 9pm, we're on around 10pm
WHERE: Harvard Epworth Methodist Church-1555 Mass Ave
HOW MUCH: suggested $3 donation, but complimentary coffee and tea
WHO'S IN THE BAND TONIGHT: Brian King- guitar & vocals, Lori Perkins- piano, Mike Leggio- upright bass, and i'm playing violin.
WHO ELSE IS PLAYING: Tonight is Squawk's eclectic open mic, so in theory...you could be playing! Mr. Fox is the featured band and will be doing a full set. Rumor has it that Walter Sickert will be in attendance, so i might do a song or two with him.
WHY SHOULD I COME TO THIS ONE: It's cheap and T accessable. The Squawk is in a beautiful space and has a an actual piano. It is one of the most eclectic open-mics in Boston.
Plus...check out this adorable flyer (yeah, i know...it looks cooler with the "y")!
i have a problem leaving things. if i'm going from one place to another, i am invariably late to the "another". i am the last one to leave the party...or maybe i'm still on your couch.
Tonight i had the overwhelming desire to be in two places at once. As i have not yet invented a way of successfully cloning myself or forcing more hours into the day, i was forced to make a choice. i don't like choosing. i like doing both. This is problematic when i'm choosing between two unrepeatable (really, spellcheck...i can't write unduplicatable, but unrepeatable is a word? wack.) scenarios with two groups of people who's company i really enjoy.
Tonight i managed to do both. I started with group A, i went to group B for a little while, and somehow was able to pull myself away from them to return to group A. I fucking love both sets of friends. I wanted to be in both places. So i was. Sometimes things work out.
Still though, the real trouble comes when i am chosing between following my routine and exploring some new exciting thing. Invariably, i chose the new exciting thing. Over and over again, i chose the new exciting thing. The problem is, you can only do this so many times before your routine is not a routine anymore. I know that somewhere there is a balance between routine and spontaneity, but i'm not graceful enough to walk the line without fucking up my shit. So at the end of the night i had two choices: go back to group B or go to home.
I know what happens if i go home. I don't know what happens if i go back to group B.
I think i'd like to.............. ...But i know i should...... ...... And i say to myself...
This is a bad idea A wonderful bad idea I want to but i'm not going to I'd love to but i shouldn't
i'm not sure yet. i'm busy, i guess. i used to keep everything in my life separate, like a tv dinner tray or a craft box filled with sorted buttons. My friends never met, my jobs never crossed, and i spent most of my time driving from one thing to the next–and arriving there ten minutes after i should have.
Lately things have been...messy. Boston is too small to segregate your life. So now i lead several lives, all one on top of the other. Sometimes i wonder what people think i do when i'm not doing whatever it is i'm doing with them. Mostly they dont ask; probably they dont care.
~~ Sometimes, i'm a teacher. They call me Mr. Jayson. It's weird–that's my mother's name, i'm just not that fancy. I teach highschool orchestra. I work with 80-something kids at once. They're great. i conduct, i use my college degrees, i live out the second phase of my life plan (step 1: go to college, step 2:teach music), and almost always, when i walk in to teach on tuesday morning, i laugh to myself and say "if only they knew what i was doing 12 hours ago."
I also teach private piano lessons one morning a week to children who have Autism. Four lessons in a row. Each an hour long. It's hard. It's really hard. I shouldn't have taken this job, but the kids are incredible, so i suck it up.
~~ Often, i work at a shoe store on Newbury street. I'm lucky. I work with some of the best people in Boston. If you don't believe me, stop by sometime. It's nice to be surrounded by people (and a company) that value art and creativity so highly. Still, as i'm lacing someone into a boot, sometimes i'll think about all of my student loans, and wonder if this is why i have a masters degree...
~~ Mostly, i play viola in a couple of rock bands. That's a funny sentence. There will be many band posts in the future. Again, i'm lucky, i'm surrounded by a phenominal amount of originality and talent. Sometimes i think about how i've managed to squeeze myself into the Boston artrock scene, and i wonder how long it will take them to catch on and kick me out.
~~ I run into people i've sold shoes to a lot. I run into people who know me from my bands. Sometimes my students know about shows i've played. Life's just not as separated as it used to be. Boston's too small, and i'm too tired. In the words of Kurt Vonnegut, so it goes.
i'm probably an asshole i'm often late i don't capitolize the word "i"
i'm bad at relaxing i'm afraid of being alone but i'm good at getting dressed in the morning.
This is not a diary. This is not a calendar. It's not what i had for breakfast or what i'm wearing today. This is not a place to vent. Not pictures that i've taken or places that i've been. Not for promoting. Not for pretending. Not for passing the time. This is not a place to put things to remember. This is not art. This is not a blog.
